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"Help, My Customer Just Called Me a B*&^%"

Susan Morales-Barias • March 8, 2020

The other night, I got a call from my female bartender. “What should I do with this customer who called me a b*$@# and he says he wants to taste my *&@$*?" I was taken aback for a minute. I did not think that this situation would happen in my restaurant and bar. For sometime, we have had male managers and bartenders and there did not seem to be issues (or so I thought). I said firmly “ We have a zero tolerance policy. If you feel harassed, you can escort that customer out. I can come in if you need me to. If urgent, feel free to call the police”.

The next day, I debriefed with my female manager. I reiterated our policy but I knew we really did not have a specific process for situations that involved customers. I told her that we did not seem to have this problem often. She countered, “Yeah- we have had a lot of instances where customers may cross that line”. I started to pry a bit further. She told me some interesting stories. Sometimes, the situation starts out harmless until it escalates. Sometimes, it starts with simple jokes. Sometimes, you may have had a longtime good customer who all of a sudden decides to make an advance. And then you get that one who becomes Mr. Hyde at the bar. She added, “Since we work for tips, we will try to accommodate a customer until we feel absolutely threatened”.

Harassment abounds in the workplace. Sexual harassment in the workplace exists more so and is a greater issue for women. I read somewhere that around 60% of women report they have experienced harassment in their workplace. This number increases among women in the food service industry, especially for those who work for tips. Even among food service workers who do not work for tips, situations of sexual harassment are surprisingly prevalent. I watched “A Fine Line” www.afineline.com, a documentary on female chefs, in which they talk about how female restaurant owners and head chefs comprise less than 7% of the entire industry. The female chefs narrated how they had to endure prejudice and sexual harassment.

In talking with my staff, I realized that they may be exposed to more risk than I had previously thought. The fact that they really did not discuss this issue until we had a big situation happened also reflects their ambivalence and disempowerment. Is it ok to take a few advances from customers if it meant a bigger tip? When is the situation reportable?

I know how disempowering it can be for a female in a workplace. I had experienced sexual harassment in a job decades ago. In that instance, I had to figure out, did he really cross the line? Was it harmless? Would anybody believe me if I reported? Thankfully, I had witnesses to the incident and I had worked in women’s advocacy enough to know that the behavior was inappropriate. No, he did not lose his job. He got his hands slapped. I was moved to report to another supervisor but still had to work with him on a daily basis.

The US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) states that:

“It is unlawful to harass a person (an applicant or employee) because of that person’s sex. Harassment can include “sexual harassment” or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature. Harassment does not have to be of a sexual nature, however, and can include offensive remarks about a person’s sex. Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted).

The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer.”

As a female CEO and Chef, how am I able to walk my talk about zero tolerance? There is a lot of work to do from my end. From an organizational stand-point, there are things that need to be urgently tackled:

ENSURE THE POLICY IS CLEAR. We need to first, talk the talk. Always reference your harassment policy during new hire orientation. Review your employee handbook and make sure that your policy is clearly articulated. But, more than policy, we need to discuss potential scenarios with our staff to empower them to resist situations, especially with customers where there is clearly a power imbalance. Sexual harassment training on how to deal with situations in the workplace among other employees and customers is critical.

CREATE A SAFE ENVIRONMENT. This is where you walk the talk. Aside from ensuring that your policy provides for alternative and safe reporting channels, you also need to create a safe environment. Leadership needs to “walk the talk” and lead by example.

MENTOR WOMEN. Women are underrepresented in leadership and especially in leadership in the food service industry. If you see potential, harness it! Women face a lot of barriers within organizations including lack of opportunity, policy that are not women-friendly (like taking time off for sick children and maternity), and lack of confidence in their leadership ability. Policies can address the first two barriers. Mentorship can unlock potential by increasing their confidence.

Of course, these steps only address the tip of the iceberg. The way women are treated in general and what society accepts as appropriate behavior is at the core of this discussion and needs to be confronted. For me, gender-based wage disparity, corporate culture that tolerates harassment and discrimination and lack of women in leadership are key.

It is 2020. On this day to to recognize women across the globe, let us all (men and women) take on one challenge: take a deep look at your environment and identify one thing that is in your power to change to improve conditions for women and change it! Be bold, be courageous.

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Thanks to you, Guymon, America!

By Susan Morales-Barias • April 28, 2020

I drove around town today, doing my usual errands. To the bank. To the post office. As I was stopped at the sign on my last turn to my office, I suddenly wanted to cry. While everything seemed normal, the same, everything felt different. The streets were barren and sad, even though our small town is never really too busy. This day, even as the the sun was shining, there was a dint of desolation and isolation, of muted hues on a sunny day. During the past 6 weeks, we have had to constantly run through our game plan for our businesses. At first, it was about using stylus pens for our iPads. Ordering enough sanitizer and tissue paper. Sanitizing doors. Promoting pick-ups. Promoting our online ordering. And, then delivery. And then, closing. What to do with staff? What to do with inventory? How do we communicate with customers? Have you checked out the bail out? Do you qualify? How quickly can you write your application? How do we protect ourselves and our staff from getting sick? What will the new “normal” look like? As has been said multiple times, these times are extraordinary. Nobody has lived through a pandemic of this scale, and nobody could have predicted the radical turn of events of 2020. To say that the circumstances are especially trying for small business owners is an understatement (I don’t want to inflate it either, I know how stressful it is for front liners!). I’d say that the most stressful part is the constant course correction and pretending that you have it all figured out. But, I want you to know that we are ok. We are ok because our banks and vendors have reached out to us immediately and made sure we had what we needed. Our bank gave guidance and support with the small business assistance applications. They also offered loan restructuring. Multiple vendors have provided channels to mitigate loss including waiving fees. We are ok because our employees have worked tirelessly during this period. Triumphing over the constant changes, uncertainty and risk. We are ok because our community has really supported and embraced us. We’ve received massive support, among other local small businesses, through the promotion of take-out options, community ordering events, and from small groups that advocate for shopping local. Upon picking up a take-out order, one customer said, “I have not cooked at home. I make sure I order out every night so that we continue to support our restaurants.” Our customers actively reach out to us to find creative ways to generate business. Our neighbor made masks for us to use. Ramon Ang, San Miguel Corporation President said that businesses can earn lost money. In his support for extended quarantine, he noted that "We can make money again but life, once you lose it, it is gone forever". As we live past this season, let us all rethink our priorities and focus on things that really matter. In this most trying time, I will remember the extraordinary kindness of my community. And, how I miss being with you all.

Starting Your Business

By Susan Morales-Barias • February 11, 2020

We opened to an overwhelmingly positive response even as we stumbled every step of the way. We ran out of refrigerator space that first week (totally miscalculated our inventory). Owners of other restaurants in town offered up their facilities for temporary storage. We started constructing a "backroom” a day after we opened to add more refrigeration and storage. I remember one time, our crew member refilled our sugar with salt. Yikes- that was one salty smoothie! We would open at 6 a.m. and the day did not end until my husband finished mopping floors at 10 p.m. I had to fire him, afraid that his patients would get mad at me for letting their doctor mop the floors. Anyway, I told him, I cannot afford him as my nightly cleaning crew! Work always followed me home and I would wake up in the middle of the night wondering “Did I turn off the panini grill?”. After the first week, my staff asked me when I intended to run paychecks. Oh, shoot! I did not even think about accounting much less payroll. The next day, I was on the phone with QuickBooks setting up my account! Sure, I learned from all of those mistakes but wouldn’t it have been nice to not have to learn the hard way? Goal Setting vs. Role Setting . While it is important to identify your goals for your business, it is also important to identify your personal goals as its leader and founder. A lot of focus is spent on identifying company goals. How many customers do you plan to serve? What is your target revenue? However, once setup, a founder seldom thinks about their goals for themselves. Is this your passion project? Do you see yourself creating your product (i.e. coffee making or baking) or do you see yourself running the administrative aspects? Or, do you see yourself doing both and at the same time? Sometimes, without clear role-setting, a founder can get overwhelmed trying to do everything or frustrated if they focus only on one aspect of the business leaving the other aspects of the business under-managed. Business Plan vs. Operation Plan . Yes, I created a business plan. It was suave and well-written and good enough to allow me to access resources from the Small Business Development Center (SBDC). Yet, this business plan took me only as far as a summary to a book. Yes, I had some pie-in-the-sky numbers and plans, but, none of those told me the step by step. In the food service industry in particular, every menu item needs to be matched with equipment and service items and every storage space needs to be matched with the production process. Now I know. Also, in the business aspect, there are handbooks, forms, documentation and systems that need to be setup to ensure efficient and effective operations How many small businesses have employee handbooks? What is your closing process? Do your employees have job descriptions? Financing and Finances. Money is king in business. That means that you need to make sure you adequately capitalize. Starting at the initial investment phase, always expect to spend 25% more than what you have on paper and also plan on your project to take 25% more time. Finally, keeping track of all of your expenses and revenues is a MUST. All receipts need to be tracked. All revenue needs to be verified, your cash register needs to be balanced. Decide on your Point of Sale, accounting and other business management systems early on. ———— Looking at how well Urban Bru turned out, we can certainly say that in spite of the many mistakes we made along the way, we made many good decisions too. When we were planning a couple of years ago, we came up with the vision: “Urban Bru is Life!”- our friends start their day with us, share their special moments and occasions, study with us, work with us, spend a lazy afternoon with us. They take us to their kid’s sports event, their road trips, and girls trips. We hope to share many more of these moments with you for years to come! Happy birthday, Urban Bru!

Sorry for the Inconvenience!

By Susan Morales-Barias • October 16, 2019

I stopped by a coffeeshop recently on one of my travels. It was super busy that day, lines were to the door and did not stop. You could feel the stress of all the employees. I KNOW that stress. Sometimes, there are tears inside (of course we can’t show our customers). One of their employees, Michelle, I noticed, was already on hyper drive. Her voice was a note higher, her eyes wide. She was making a quick inventory of their baked goods, every time she mentioned an item that was out, her voice snapped a little. I am sure you have seen this scene- we have all tried to get our coffee during a parade, or just before work or school, or maybe before boarding the plane. Or, you have been to a restaurant right behind some big tables, during Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day. As a customer, it is frustrating when you see some lags in service. The trash cans are not emptied. Your refills are not given to you straight away. Your order took too long or came out not the way you asked for it. I get it! You are used to a level of product quality and service. Running a food service business is one of the toughest things I have done. One reason for this is that it is very challenging to address massive fluctuations in demand. You can be really slow one minute and then all of a sudden, a big bus of high schoolers drops in. We all still talk about Pioneer Days 2011 when we were basically slaughtered at Urban Bru. It was our first year and while we prepared, we were not prepared for that kind of busy! Or Mother’s Day 2016 at Galleon when we rolled out a new brunch menu and it was a total cluster-----. Or that one time during Pumpkin Patch when our printers stopped working. During those moments, I will tell you seriously that employees have left work crying! People handle stress differently. For some, it causes them to function less efficiently and can lead to more mistakes. So, a really busy day at a coffeeshop or a restaurant feels like a volcano about to erupt. In the massive craziness, Michelle tried to empty the trash. I could see in her face that she was not looking forward to this task- I knew well enough that it was by now, overflowing. She opened the door and her face just fell (tears inside!). Sure enough, trash was overflowing with spilt coffee! She stood there for a few seconds, stopped at her tracks, overwhelmed. All of a sudden, an old man walks towards the trash, pulls the bin out and with his bare hands, pushes the cups down and ties the trash bag for her! She looked up to him, her face changed and all the stress lifted. With a big smile on her face she says, “Thank you, sir!”. It never occurred to me to help with the trash, I am definitely not that nice. But this guy almost instinctively just swoops in to help. More than that, he changed the course of the hell day for Michelle and all the employees and customers in the coffeeshop! This made me think about what random acts of kindness can do to help alleviate the stress for our service workers. To all the folks who get behind massive lines or have their wait a bit longer than usual, sorry for the inconvenience, but we are trying our best to attend to everyone’s needs! When we are busy, we are just barely keeping our head above water. Know that we intend to provide you with the best service possible and we don’t intentionally try to ignore you or your needs. Being understanding and nice to your wait staff can actually help. The less stressed the staff are, the better they can do their jobs. Servers work for tips. If you are in a full-service restaurant, your servers work for tips. I have read some articles about the pros and cons of this system. However, you must realize that unless ALL restaurants change the wait staff wage policy in the United States, servers will always rely on those tips. As a restaurant owner, my prices are built around this wage model. If I had to pay wait staff full hourly wages, then I would need to increase prices too. Servers are willing to work harder for the wage uncertainty because of the potential to earn more than the regular hourly wage. If you happen to encounter less than desirable service due to busy-ness, please give consideration to your server when you tip. It is not entirely their fault if food or service is slow. Don’t be complicated. Imagine that the kitchen already has multiple tickets in front of them. If you don’t like cheese but you are not necessarily allergic to it, don’t ask for no cheese in your salad. You can easily set that aside once you get your order. The more straight-forward your order is, the easier it will be for staff to fulfill. When I walked up to the register that day at the coffeeshop, Michelle asked what I wanted. Knowing that I was a complicated coffee drinker, I said “Hot green tea please”.